Cries from the past...

Its just too painful to realize that You have unknowingly let yourself be a part and now you are bound to follow the fate of the whole. The whole does not move in the direction you are oriented to and you are not ready to change your bearings either. It pains even more when you realize that over a period, you have let the whole change your bearings. Your own motives have started blurring. You have allowed the whole to infect yourself, to bug yourself...!!

The irony is that you still don't want to detach yourself from the whole. The whole has sucked the vigor out of your bones. It has enfeebled you and dragged you to a point where you have started feeling a dependency. It has started feeding you in ways you cannot say no to. You are an addict. You have been masterfully chiseled, pruned and polished. It has given you a gloss you have started flaunting even though you know you are not happy doing so. Time passes by and you see others beaming the same way. You start feigning the happiness and then eventually feeling it too. Then the time comes when you forget you were not a part. You have acclimatized yourself by now. You are not even frustrated anymore. You have stopped identifying or probably started ignoring the sporadic cries from the past. You have been completely transformed.

I don't know what are the further stages and I don't want to think and imagine. It doesn't matter anymore anyway...