Well, let me do it PI style today.
Those who are not aware, PI is a brilliant movie directly from the den of Darren Aronofsky ('Requiem for a Dream' fame) and stands tall among my favourites hollywood flicks.
6:45, Lying on couch, putting a full stop to a nightful of dreams, I open my eyes to the world of realities and possibilities. still drowsy. Shut them again. what the heck, another snooze, world can wait 9 more minutes for me.
6:54, I don't give a shit, another snooze
7:03, You gotta wake up you $%&*$%*$^&%, you wanna get late for office ? you wanna get in that shitty hinjewadi traffic again ? cummon, wake up beat it.
7:05, Rub my eyes hard, finally push aside the sheet and get up. Bloody hell, another day begins. Open the door, newspaper guy still sleeping. I will kill the SOB when he comes collecting money. I need the newspaper first thing in the morning.
7:55, daily chores finished.......!!!!
Kickstart my bike. Suspect again, is it really giving me the thump and fire I want or I am still being fooled by that Alex guy. Plug in my iPod and journey starts.
Minute by minute, song after another song, kilometer after kilometer, wallowing in infinite thumps, the road passes by. I resolve to write something today. Its been a week since I promised myself to write something here. When you lose an old habit, you have to make such crappy resolutions to get a purchase on it again. Otherwise why will effort be needed for something you love to do.
8:20, reach office. park the bike.
8:28, Swipe in and wait for lift.
8:30 Login. Check my Mails.
Hell.....are you kidding me.....no issues....no problems, guess I will finally get time to paint my blog with words.
Here I am....!! I could beat myself...!! I win, I defeat myself...!!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
I am being pathetic
I do understand when the effort is not followed by the result but why is desire sometimes not followed by an effort ? It gives me enough reasons to hate myself.
I remember putting up small notes which would never mature into a final blog but in last few months I have been just pathetic. Even those notes which would have, should have or could have converted into something tangible have dried up.I have touched the peaks into this pathetic being. Let alone the effort, I have observed even the desire fading into lethargy. Only time I feel inspired enough to write is when I ride my Bike. I am happy that at least she has not stopped inspiring me.
Well, let me now try to put something up here at least once every week.
Wish me luck.
I remember putting up small notes which would never mature into a final blog but in last few months I have been just pathetic. Even those notes which would have, should have or could have converted into something tangible have dried up.I have touched the peaks into this pathetic being. Let alone the effort, I have observed even the desire fading into lethargy. Only time I feel inspired enough to write is when I ride my Bike. I am happy that at least she has not stopped inspiring me.
Well, let me now try to put something up here at least once every week.
Wish me luck.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
After a long time
I am amazed at myself. I am amazed at the length of time that has elapsed since I last wrote something. Laziness, pure laziness. An integral part of me :)
I see that last time I wrote was during my journey back to Pune and again I am writing while traveling. Its some sort of a kick that journeys give me. I am always in a positive mood and I have a lot of time and most important of all, I have my laptop.
Let me write about the most inspiring event of last few days. A few months back, my mom called me and asked me, 'What is a blog'. I fumbled for a while before I went on explaining her about it. I myself am a blogger, even though not a very regular one, but when it comes to explaining a layman about what a blog is, I didn't find it easy. My mom regularly reads a local news paper 'Amar Ujala'. I am a perpetual hater of level of Hindi Journalism in our country (Not that English Journalism is of top class). Media has distorted this beautiful language to such menial levels that it has almost fallen to irrecoverable levels. But despite that, Hindi News papers are able to supply a cognizant reader some stuff which is of his/her interest and at a general level, it is appreciable as well. My mom's awareness about the term 'BLOG' originated from this very world of Hindi Journalism.
I explained her what a blog is, why people write, how they earn money, how does it become popular, who are the readers etc etc. She showed interest. But then I forgot about everything until a few days back when she called me up and asked another question 'What do I need to do if I want to start writing a blog'. It was not unexpected from a lady of her enterprise but still, it caught me by surprise. I did not think she can be serious about it. So I brushed it off. Then she called me again the next day. then again, then again. I finally succumbed. I took out a few moments from my pseudo-busy schedule and created her log in for her on Blogspot. I explained her how to log in, write and publish.
She is quite enthusiastic in such matters but still I never expected her to be as fast as she turned out to be. I was literally stunned when only after a few hours she declared that her first blog is on the net. Man...!! I didn't believe her. It was such a big surprise for me.
How many hurdles she must have faced while doing it. First of all, her low comfort levels with a laptop and then the Internet usage. Then the great grandfatherly speeds that the Internet walks with in my hometown. She sure must have tried more than a dozen times connecting to net before she could actually publish it. On Top of that, the general discomfort that old people face while adopting to newer things. All in all it was not a good deal. But she overcame everything and successfully posted something on her blog.
Well, it may all sound too small a thing to do but what I want to emphasize here is that it inspired me a lot. How frequently do I exhibit such levels of enthusiasm and enterprise. This post after such a hiatus is a proof enough of my laziness. Except for a few occasions like 'biking trips', I rarely come out of the comfort zone and attempt something that I had never tried before or my peers have never tried before.
A very very good lesson learnt. I just hope I can carry this and benefit myself.
I see that last time I wrote was during my journey back to Pune and again I am writing while traveling. Its some sort of a kick that journeys give me. I am always in a positive mood and I have a lot of time and most important of all, I have my laptop.
Let me write about the most inspiring event of last few days. A few months back, my mom called me and asked me, 'What is a blog'. I fumbled for a while before I went on explaining her about it. I myself am a blogger, even though not a very regular one, but when it comes to explaining a layman about what a blog is, I didn't find it easy. My mom regularly reads a local news paper 'Amar Ujala'. I am a perpetual hater of level of Hindi Journalism in our country (Not that English Journalism is of top class). Media has distorted this beautiful language to such menial levels that it has almost fallen to irrecoverable levels. But despite that, Hindi News papers are able to supply a cognizant reader some stuff which is of his/her interest and at a general level, it is appreciable as well. My mom's awareness about the term 'BLOG' originated from this very world of Hindi Journalism.
I explained her what a blog is, why people write, how they earn money, how does it become popular, who are the readers etc etc. She showed interest. But then I forgot about everything until a few days back when she called me up and asked another question 'What do I need to do if I want to start writing a blog'. It was not unexpected from a lady of her enterprise but still, it caught me by surprise. I did not think she can be serious about it. So I brushed it off. Then she called me again the next day. then again, then again. I finally succumbed. I took out a few moments from my pseudo-busy schedule and created her log in for her on Blogspot. I explained her how to log in, write and publish.
She is quite enthusiastic in such matters but still I never expected her to be as fast as she turned out to be. I was literally stunned when only after a few hours she declared that her first blog is on the net. Man...!! I didn't believe her. It was such a big surprise for me.
How many hurdles she must have faced while doing it. First of all, her low comfort levels with a laptop and then the Internet usage. Then the great grandfatherly speeds that the Internet walks with in my hometown. She sure must have tried more than a dozen times connecting to net before she could actually publish it. On Top of that, the general discomfort that old people face while adopting to newer things. All in all it was not a good deal. But she overcame everything and successfully posted something on her blog.
Well, it may all sound too small a thing to do but what I want to emphasize here is that it inspired me a lot. How frequently do I exhibit such levels of enthusiasm and enterprise. This post after such a hiatus is a proof enough of my laziness. Except for a few occasions like 'biking trips', I rarely come out of the comfort zone and attempt something that I had never tried before or my peers have never tried before.
A very very good lesson learnt. I just hope I can carry this and benefit myself.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
.....
"...For this is what we do. Put one foot forward and then the other. Lift our eyes to the snarl and smile of the world once more. Think. Act. Feel. Add our little consequence to the tide of good and evil that flood and drain the world. Drag our shadowed crosses into the hope of another night. Push our brave hearts into the promises of a new day. With love: the passionate search for a truth other than our own. With longing: the pure ineffable yearning to be saved. For so long as fate keeps waiting, we live on. Good help us. God forgive us. We live on....."
shantaram
shantaram
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Retrospect - 1
I guess its a good time to write. 6 o clock in the morning, I leave from Hazrat Nizamuddin Railway station New Delhi.
2 months back, I had thoughtfully decided to travel back to Pune by train instead of Air. Somehow the train journey gives me a lot of time to relax and think. I can feel the journey. This is very much unlike the air travel. Domestic flights end before you feel you are travelling and in international ones, you wish you never travelled.
Its true that I can very rarely afford train journeys because of the painfully long time they take but in this case, time is something I have at premium, I say..why not use it. And its going pretty good so far. A few minutes back I was reading Shantaram. It gave me a very beautiful line...'Every passing minute is a short story with a happy ending'. I smiled and started comparing it with my life. My own story of last 15 days unfolded before my eyes.
I won't consider myself as lucky as Mr Greg Dave Roberts to have every story a happy end but then I don't like all stories to have happy ends. Life is a mixed bag and so should be the stories. That is exactly how my story of last 15 days have been. Filled with colors. Multiple colors. And what a rainbow do I withhold. The Violet of frustration, the Indigo of smiles, the Blue of gloom, the Green of calm, the Orange of agitation, the Red of love. And then their shades and tints. They mix up in beautiful combinations and present themselves before me. What I can tell Mr Roberts is that My life of last fifteen days was a canvas. Almost every one I knew was invited to paint me as he or she wished. I was done very generously and at the end of it I stand like a caricature of myself. I have minutely observed every brushstroke and I can say I am unnerved by the density of purposes.
To be continued...
2 months back, I had thoughtfully decided to travel back to Pune by train instead of Air. Somehow the train journey gives me a lot of time to relax and think. I can feel the journey. This is very much unlike the air travel. Domestic flights end before you feel you are travelling and in international ones, you wish you never travelled.
Its true that I can very rarely afford train journeys because of the painfully long time they take but in this case, time is something I have at premium, I say..why not use it. And its going pretty good so far. A few minutes back I was reading Shantaram. It gave me a very beautiful line...'Every passing minute is a short story with a happy ending'. I smiled and started comparing it with my life. My own story of last 15 days unfolded before my eyes.
I won't consider myself as lucky as Mr Greg Dave Roberts to have every story a happy end but then I don't like all stories to have happy ends. Life is a mixed bag and so should be the stories. That is exactly how my story of last 15 days have been. Filled with colors. Multiple colors. And what a rainbow do I withhold. The Violet of frustration, the Indigo of smiles, the Blue of gloom, the Green of calm, the Orange of agitation, the Red of love. And then their shades and tints. They mix up in beautiful combinations and present themselves before me. What I can tell Mr Roberts is that My life of last fifteen days was a canvas. Almost every one I knew was invited to paint me as he or she wished. I was done very generously and at the end of it I stand like a caricature of myself. I have minutely observed every brushstroke and I can say I am unnerved by the density of purposes.
To be continued...
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Azimushshaan Shahenshaah 'Kaaju'.....Merhabaa.
Khabardaar, Hoshiyaar...Shahenshaah-e-jannat-e-mithaai 'KAAJU-e-Ilaahi Jalwa-e-afrosh ho rahe hain......
I can apparently see all other sweets and snack items cringe and hide in their miserable, nondescript bowls. After all, the Kaaju Ka samosa has arrived. Its reveling in its stately handsomeness and gloating over its undisputed numero Uno status. It is not a mere part of the snacks table, it adorns it. It obliges it.
My acquaintance with Kaaju ki Barfi goes back to my childhood when one of the students, my father used to teach, had done really well in his exams and brought a Half Kg assorted sweets DIBBA to our home as a token of gratefulness. We being what we were at that time, tore apart the DIBBA to check out the contents. We were amazed by unbelievably thin size of a BARFI-like-sweet. We were delighted to realize that we can actually eat 5 BARFIs together. Not just the innovative size, it had a heavenly taste as well. We became instant fans.
Time passed by. Kaju ki Barfi became more frequent on sweet shops and at our home as well. Years later, I moved to Pune. The name 'Kaju ki Barfi' had changed to 'Kaju Katli'. Taste remained same.
Then came the days then the Cooking BHOOT was into my head and I was even titled 'Halwaai' by my friends. I tried cooking Kaaju Katli once. And I was successful. Believe me, It was no mean effort and no mean result. I liked what I cooked and people loved what I cooked.
Then the craze died. While in Pune, Kaju Katli became a run of the mill item for me. Over the years, fascination reduced itself to indifference. Kaaju Katli had lost its charm.
But now, while I am in Muzaffarnagar for my wedding, right from the day one, I am experiencing Kaaju's supremacy. I feel like Kaaju is really shaking me hard. It wants me to wake up from my indifference and accept its dominance. As I mentioned in my previous blog, I am observing a lot of things these days. This Kaaju is among those things.
I was at my would-be-inlaws place for some reason. Obviously a huge number of snacks, namkeens, sweets etc were brought on the table. It had been a tiring day for me and I was sipping tea in a very relaxed mood. My Bro-in-Law offered me a namkeen. I took some and kept sipping the tea. Suddenly my mother-in-law gets angry over her son. 'ARE BETA YEH KYUN, KAAJU WAALI NAMKEEN DO'. Without a second’s delay, I was offered the Kaju ki namkeen. I smilingly obliged. After a few minutes, the poor guy offered me a really good looking sweet. He was rebuked again. 'BETA KAAJU KI BARFI DO'. By the time I had realized that I am gonna have some good time with Kaaju on this trip. I gently took a piece of Kaaju ki Barfi. As I ate that bite after bite, the smile and satisfaction on the faces around me deepened. They had done their bit. They have nullified all possibilities of me going out of their house and saying that I was not treated well. It was all about Kaaju. On my way home, I was thinking if My mom would ask 'BETA KYA THA NASHTE ME WAHAAN PE'. But she was too busy to ask. But I am sure if she had asked, she would certainly have been satisfied by Kaaju ki namkeen and Kaaju ki barfi. Such is the Charisma of Kaaju.
Since that moment, I have come across countless variants of this sweet. 'Kaaju ke samose', 'Kaaju Kalash', 'Kaaju ki Jalebi', 'Kaaju Rolls', 'Kaaju Tarbooj, 'Kaaju Kesar', 'Kaaju ke laddu'.....let me tell you they all taste precisely the same. Its just the shape, price and name that is difference. But they all have different places in Status hierarchy. But in any case, one thing is damn sure. If somebody has not offered you a Kaaju item in the snacks, he is either not too well off or he is not taking your AVBHAGAT (Hospitality) seriously.
During the wedding-week in north india, a lot of sweets are exchanged between the two families. The funny thing is that at one exchange people are not ready to offer less than 5 Sweet Dibbas. A minimum of 5 kilos of sweets exchange hands at one go. Who eats that and what happens to that sweet is obviously immaterial. Any Logical 'WHY' is instantly rebuffed by a 'TUM NAHI SAMJHOGE BETA, ACHHA NAHI LAGTA'. And if any such exchange remains unaccompanied by the Great Kaaju, it is as good as incomplete and half-hearted.
Such is the power of Kaaju that it can literally categorize our guests. 'KAAJU WALE MEHMAAN' and 'SAADE MEHMAAN'. The first category has further classifications 'KAAJU SAMOSE YA KAAJU KALASH WAALE MEHMAAN' and 'KAAJU KI BARFI BHI CHALEGI' waale mehmaan. And not just the Sweet items, the salted snacks items also have their own pecking order. 'Fried kaaju', 'Roasted Kaaju', 'Masaala Kaaju', 'Kaaju waali namkeen' and the list goes on.
I firmly believe that if some real nerd exercises his grey cells, he can actually calibrate the Guest Importance. Every Guest can be defined by its 'KAAJU QUOTIENT' or 'KAAJU INDEX'
Well Come what may, I am a happy guy these days. Titled as DULHA among my side of people and DAAMADJI among my inlaws, I am enjoying the maximum possible KAAJU QUOTIENT these days. Oh dear God...!! Go easy on my stomach.
I can apparently see all other sweets and snack items cringe and hide in their miserable, nondescript bowls. After all, the Kaaju Ka samosa has arrived. Its reveling in its stately handsomeness and gloating over its undisputed numero Uno status. It is not a mere part of the snacks table, it adorns it. It obliges it.
My acquaintance with Kaaju ki Barfi goes back to my childhood when one of the students, my father used to teach, had done really well in his exams and brought a Half Kg assorted sweets DIBBA to our home as a token of gratefulness. We being what we were at that time, tore apart the DIBBA to check out the contents. We were amazed by unbelievably thin size of a BARFI-like-sweet. We were delighted to realize that we can actually eat 5 BARFIs together. Not just the innovative size, it had a heavenly taste as well. We became instant fans.
Time passed by. Kaju ki Barfi became more frequent on sweet shops and at our home as well. Years later, I moved to Pune. The name 'Kaju ki Barfi' had changed to 'Kaju Katli'. Taste remained same.
Then came the days then the Cooking BHOOT was into my head and I was even titled 'Halwaai' by my friends. I tried cooking Kaaju Katli once. And I was successful. Believe me, It was no mean effort and no mean result. I liked what I cooked and people loved what I cooked.
Then the craze died. While in Pune, Kaju Katli became a run of the mill item for me. Over the years, fascination reduced itself to indifference. Kaaju Katli had lost its charm.
But now, while I am in Muzaffarnagar for my wedding, right from the day one, I am experiencing Kaaju's supremacy. I feel like Kaaju is really shaking me hard. It wants me to wake up from my indifference and accept its dominance. As I mentioned in my previous blog, I am observing a lot of things these days. This Kaaju is among those things.
I was at my would-be-inlaws place for some reason. Obviously a huge number of snacks, namkeens, sweets etc were brought on the table. It had been a tiring day for me and I was sipping tea in a very relaxed mood. My Bro-in-Law offered me a namkeen. I took some and kept sipping the tea. Suddenly my mother-in-law gets angry over her son. 'ARE BETA YEH KYUN, KAAJU WAALI NAMKEEN DO'. Without a second’s delay, I was offered the Kaju ki namkeen. I smilingly obliged. After a few minutes, the poor guy offered me a really good looking sweet. He was rebuked again. 'BETA KAAJU KI BARFI DO'. By the time I had realized that I am gonna have some good time with Kaaju on this trip. I gently took a piece of Kaaju ki Barfi. As I ate that bite after bite, the smile and satisfaction on the faces around me deepened. They had done their bit. They have nullified all possibilities of me going out of their house and saying that I was not treated well. It was all about Kaaju. On my way home, I was thinking if My mom would ask 'BETA KYA THA NASHTE ME WAHAAN PE'. But she was too busy to ask. But I am sure if she had asked, she would certainly have been satisfied by Kaaju ki namkeen and Kaaju ki barfi. Such is the Charisma of Kaaju.
Since that moment, I have come across countless variants of this sweet. 'Kaaju ke samose', 'Kaaju Kalash', 'Kaaju ki Jalebi', 'Kaaju Rolls', 'Kaaju Tarbooj, 'Kaaju Kesar', 'Kaaju ke laddu'.....let me tell you they all taste precisely the same. Its just the shape, price and name that is difference. But they all have different places in Status hierarchy. But in any case, one thing is damn sure. If somebody has not offered you a Kaaju item in the snacks, he is either not too well off or he is not taking your AVBHAGAT (Hospitality) seriously.
During the wedding-week in north india, a lot of sweets are exchanged between the two families. The funny thing is that at one exchange people are not ready to offer less than 5 Sweet Dibbas. A minimum of 5 kilos of sweets exchange hands at one go. Who eats that and what happens to that sweet is obviously immaterial. Any Logical 'WHY' is instantly rebuffed by a 'TUM NAHI SAMJHOGE BETA, ACHHA NAHI LAGTA'. And if any such exchange remains unaccompanied by the Great Kaaju, it is as good as incomplete and half-hearted.
Such is the power of Kaaju that it can literally categorize our guests. 'KAAJU WALE MEHMAAN' and 'SAADE MEHMAAN'. The first category has further classifications 'KAAJU SAMOSE YA KAAJU KALASH WAALE MEHMAAN' and 'KAAJU KI BARFI BHI CHALEGI' waale mehmaan. And not just the Sweet items, the salted snacks items also have their own pecking order. 'Fried kaaju', 'Roasted Kaaju', 'Masaala Kaaju', 'Kaaju waali namkeen' and the list goes on.
I firmly believe that if some real nerd exercises his grey cells, he can actually calibrate the Guest Importance. Every Guest can be defined by its 'KAAJU QUOTIENT' or 'KAAJU INDEX'
Well Come what may, I am a happy guy these days. Titled as DULHA among my side of people and DAAMADJI among my inlaws, I am enjoying the maximum possible KAAJU QUOTIENT these days. Oh dear God...!! Go easy on my stomach.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
My Wedding
I am having a great time these days. 'm home for my wedding. Its a three week long vacation and after some initial mood-swings, jitters and some irritable moments, I have decided to enjoy this time to the fullest. To be frank, more than the wedding, what thrills me more is that I am gonna get numerous moments to observe people and their antics. Believe me, its as interesting as it gets. I am getting to see new and hidden facets of all those near and dear ones whom I have known since my childhood in an entirely different flavor. A flurry of emotions never disclosed thus far, a bunch of frowns I will never know the reasons for, a crop of relatives, a pest of opportunists, MANUHARs, ULAAHNAs, DIKHAVAs, NAKHRAs....its all fun. I never imagined I would enjoy my wedding but its getting
I don't know how much time will I be able to devote to share these observations, but I will surely make an effort..
I don't know how much time will I be able to devote to share these observations, but I will surely make an effort..
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Dodging the Yawns
Awake very late in the night, all by myself, sleep a light year away from eyes, I believe I have spent more than three hours on net. I Read about Federal rate cut, watched Jeff Dunham videos, checked out Orkut a dozen times, chatted with a couple of goofy guys about trifling things. Then I thought I should really call it a night.
Since then, I have been trying really hard to sleep. I switched off the lights, rested myself on the mattress and closed my eyes. Then at the fag end of a string of interesting activities like 'listening to the leaking water tap from the bathroom very patiently', 'trying to shift pillow from beneath my head to over my face to between my legs to my left and to my right side', 'opening and closing the window', 'changing from blanket to a thinner sheet, trying to decide if I am really feeling warm or is it cold'......I finally gave up. Probably, its one of those nights that are just not meant for sleeping. I sit up again. Just when I think of switching the lights back on, I have this long and mouth-ripping, muscle-straining yawn. I give it a second thought. Should I try to sleep again. But from my experience, I know its not gonna work. Its one of those deceptive yawns that only promise to give a satisfying sleep but at the end it would just bring me down to red and moistened eyes and no sleep. By then I would have wasted another half an hour of this night. So I act smart. I ignore this yawn and switch on the lights. However, that yawn is not in a mood to give up. It is suffixed by a couple more struggling, tempting and half suppressed yawns. But I know them. I am not gonna fall for them.
Well, when I think about it, I feel how stupid can it get. Dodging the yawns and writing about it. I am laughing at myself. Sometimes I think I suffer from a peculiar disorder. Can I call it Friday-Insomnia? Is it biologically possible for a human body to act like that? How does the brain control that? It hasn't always been like that though. It started exactly when I started realizing the importance of weekends. I cant recall my first few Friday night-outs but they should have started when I bought my first ever bike, because it was only then that I had some means to go out and have fun. Then I found a few more like minded friends and I never looked back. It became a crime to sleep early on a Friday night. Then it took a break for some time for some reason. Then it resumed. Then it stopped again for a while. It has appeared into my life at periodic intervals. It has always been funny.
But this seems to be the first time that I really want to sleep on a Friday night and my body clock is not allowing me. I know that body needs a certain amount of sleep everyday. If you don't give its due to it, it will try to accumulate the sleep and then one night you will sleep longer. But getting a very regular sleep every other night and not being able to sleep every Friday is strange. Well, its brain....its not a COBOL code that I have written. It may well have adapted itself to my habits, and when I am trying to act otherwise for just one night, it just doesn't wanna change. I should allow it this backlash.
What I long for at this time is a real nice hot steaming cup of Aztec coffee. Can anyone of you get me one....??
Since then, I have been trying really hard to sleep. I switched off the lights, rested myself on the mattress and closed my eyes. Then at the fag end of a string of interesting activities like 'listening to the leaking water tap from the bathroom very patiently', 'trying to shift pillow from beneath my head to over my face to between my legs to my left and to my right side', 'opening and closing the window', 'changing from blanket to a thinner sheet, trying to decide if I am really feeling warm or is it cold'......I finally gave up. Probably, its one of those nights that are just not meant for sleeping. I sit up again. Just when I think of switching the lights back on, I have this long and mouth-ripping, muscle-straining yawn. I give it a second thought. Should I try to sleep again. But from my experience, I know its not gonna work. Its one of those deceptive yawns that only promise to give a satisfying sleep but at the end it would just bring me down to red and moistened eyes and no sleep. By then I would have wasted another half an hour of this night. So I act smart. I ignore this yawn and switch on the lights. However, that yawn is not in a mood to give up. It is suffixed by a couple more struggling, tempting and half suppressed yawns. But I know them. I am not gonna fall for them.
Well, when I think about it, I feel how stupid can it get. Dodging the yawns and writing about it. I am laughing at myself. Sometimes I think I suffer from a peculiar disorder. Can I call it Friday-Insomnia? Is it biologically possible for a human body to act like that? How does the brain control that? It hasn't always been like that though. It started exactly when I started realizing the importance of weekends. I cant recall my first few Friday night-outs but they should have started when I bought my first ever bike, because it was only then that I had some means to go out and have fun. Then I found a few more like minded friends and I never looked back. It became a crime to sleep early on a Friday night. Then it took a break for some time for some reason. Then it resumed. Then it stopped again for a while. It has appeared into my life at periodic intervals. It has always been funny.
But this seems to be the first time that I really want to sleep on a Friday night and my body clock is not allowing me. I know that body needs a certain amount of sleep everyday. If you don't give its due to it, it will try to accumulate the sleep and then one night you will sleep longer. But getting a very regular sleep every other night and not being able to sleep every Friday is strange. Well, its brain....its not a COBOL code that I have written. It may well have adapted itself to my habits, and when I am trying to act otherwise for just one night, it just doesn't wanna change. I should allow it this backlash.
What I long for at this time is a real nice hot steaming cup of Aztec coffee. Can anyone of you get me one....??
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