Well, let me do it PI style today.
Those who are not aware, PI is a brilliant movie directly from the den of Darren Aronofsky ('Requiem for a Dream' fame) and stands tall among my favourites hollywood flicks.
6:45, Lying on couch, putting a full stop to a nightful of dreams, I open my eyes to the world of realities and possibilities. still drowsy. Shut them again. what the heck, another snooze, world can wait 9 more minutes for me.
6:54, I don't give a shit, another snooze
7:03, You gotta wake up you $%&*$%*$^&%, you wanna get late for office ? you wanna get in that shitty hinjewadi traffic again ? cummon, wake up beat it.
7:05, Rub my eyes hard, finally push aside the sheet and get up. Bloody hell, another day begins. Open the door, newspaper guy still sleeping. I will kill the SOB when he comes collecting money. I need the newspaper first thing in the morning.
7:55, daily chores finished.......!!!!
Kickstart my bike. Suspect again, is it really giving me the thump and fire I want or I am still being fooled by that Alex guy. Plug in my iPod and journey starts.
Minute by minute, song after another song, kilometer after kilometer, wallowing in infinite thumps, the road passes by. I resolve to write something today. Its been a week since I promised myself to write something here. When you lose an old habit, you have to make such crappy resolutions to get a purchase on it again. Otherwise why will effort be needed for something you love to do.
8:20, reach office. park the bike.
8:28, Swipe in and wait for lift.
8:30 Login. Check my Mails.
Hell.....are you kidding me.....no issues....no problems, guess I will finally get time to paint my blog with words.
Here I am....!! I could beat myself...!! I win, I defeat myself...!!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
I am being pathetic
I do understand when the effort is not followed by the result but why is desire sometimes not followed by an effort ? It gives me enough reasons to hate myself.
I remember putting up small notes which would never mature into a final blog but in last few months I have been just pathetic. Even those notes which would have, should have or could have converted into something tangible have dried up.I have touched the peaks into this pathetic being. Let alone the effort, I have observed even the desire fading into lethargy. Only time I feel inspired enough to write is when I ride my Bike. I am happy that at least she has not stopped inspiring me.
Well, let me now try to put something up here at least once every week.
Wish me luck.
I remember putting up small notes which would never mature into a final blog but in last few months I have been just pathetic. Even those notes which would have, should have or could have converted into something tangible have dried up.I have touched the peaks into this pathetic being. Let alone the effort, I have observed even the desire fading into lethargy. Only time I feel inspired enough to write is when I ride my Bike. I am happy that at least she has not stopped inspiring me.
Well, let me now try to put something up here at least once every week.
Wish me luck.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
After a long time
I am amazed at myself. I am amazed at the length of time that has elapsed since I last wrote something. Laziness, pure laziness. An integral part of me :)
I see that last time I wrote was during my journey back to Pune and again I am writing while traveling. Its some sort of a kick that journeys give me. I am always in a positive mood and I have a lot of time and most important of all, I have my laptop.
Let me write about the most inspiring event of last few days. A few months back, my mom called me and asked me, 'What is a blog'. I fumbled for a while before I went on explaining her about it. I myself am a blogger, even though not a very regular one, but when it comes to explaining a layman about what a blog is, I didn't find it easy. My mom regularly reads a local news paper 'Amar Ujala'. I am a perpetual hater of level of Hindi Journalism in our country (Not that English Journalism is of top class). Media has distorted this beautiful language to such menial levels that it has almost fallen to irrecoverable levels. But despite that, Hindi News papers are able to supply a cognizant reader some stuff which is of his/her interest and at a general level, it is appreciable as well. My mom's awareness about the term 'BLOG' originated from this very world of Hindi Journalism.
I explained her what a blog is, why people write, how they earn money, how does it become popular, who are the readers etc etc. She showed interest. But then I forgot about everything until a few days back when she called me up and asked another question 'What do I need to do if I want to start writing a blog'. It was not unexpected from a lady of her enterprise but still, it caught me by surprise. I did not think she can be serious about it. So I brushed it off. Then she called me again the next day. then again, then again. I finally succumbed. I took out a few moments from my pseudo-busy schedule and created her log in for her on Blogspot. I explained her how to log in, write and publish.
She is quite enthusiastic in such matters but still I never expected her to be as fast as she turned out to be. I was literally stunned when only after a few hours she declared that her first blog is on the net. Man...!! I didn't believe her. It was such a big surprise for me.
How many hurdles she must have faced while doing it. First of all, her low comfort levels with a laptop and then the Internet usage. Then the great grandfatherly speeds that the Internet walks with in my hometown. She sure must have tried more than a dozen times connecting to net before she could actually publish it. On Top of that, the general discomfort that old people face while adopting to newer things. All in all it was not a good deal. But she overcame everything and successfully posted something on her blog.
Well, it may all sound too small a thing to do but what I want to emphasize here is that it inspired me a lot. How frequently do I exhibit such levels of enthusiasm and enterprise. This post after such a hiatus is a proof enough of my laziness. Except for a few occasions like 'biking trips', I rarely come out of the comfort zone and attempt something that I had never tried before or my peers have never tried before.
A very very good lesson learnt. I just hope I can carry this and benefit myself.
I see that last time I wrote was during my journey back to Pune and again I am writing while traveling. Its some sort of a kick that journeys give me. I am always in a positive mood and I have a lot of time and most important of all, I have my laptop.
Let me write about the most inspiring event of last few days. A few months back, my mom called me and asked me, 'What is a blog'. I fumbled for a while before I went on explaining her about it. I myself am a blogger, even though not a very regular one, but when it comes to explaining a layman about what a blog is, I didn't find it easy. My mom regularly reads a local news paper 'Amar Ujala'. I am a perpetual hater of level of Hindi Journalism in our country (Not that English Journalism is of top class). Media has distorted this beautiful language to such menial levels that it has almost fallen to irrecoverable levels. But despite that, Hindi News papers are able to supply a cognizant reader some stuff which is of his/her interest and at a general level, it is appreciable as well. My mom's awareness about the term 'BLOG' originated from this very world of Hindi Journalism.
I explained her what a blog is, why people write, how they earn money, how does it become popular, who are the readers etc etc. She showed interest. But then I forgot about everything until a few days back when she called me up and asked another question 'What do I need to do if I want to start writing a blog'. It was not unexpected from a lady of her enterprise but still, it caught me by surprise. I did not think she can be serious about it. So I brushed it off. Then she called me again the next day. then again, then again. I finally succumbed. I took out a few moments from my pseudo-busy schedule and created her log in for her on Blogspot. I explained her how to log in, write and publish.
She is quite enthusiastic in such matters but still I never expected her to be as fast as she turned out to be. I was literally stunned when only after a few hours she declared that her first blog is on the net. Man...!! I didn't believe her. It was such a big surprise for me.
How many hurdles she must have faced while doing it. First of all, her low comfort levels with a laptop and then the Internet usage. Then the great grandfatherly speeds that the Internet walks with in my hometown. She sure must have tried more than a dozen times connecting to net before she could actually publish it. On Top of that, the general discomfort that old people face while adopting to newer things. All in all it was not a good deal. But she overcame everything and successfully posted something on her blog.
Well, it may all sound too small a thing to do but what I want to emphasize here is that it inspired me a lot. How frequently do I exhibit such levels of enthusiasm and enterprise. This post after such a hiatus is a proof enough of my laziness. Except for a few occasions like 'biking trips', I rarely come out of the comfort zone and attempt something that I had never tried before or my peers have never tried before.
A very very good lesson learnt. I just hope I can carry this and benefit myself.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
.....
"...For this is what we do. Put one foot forward and then the other. Lift our eyes to the snarl and smile of the world once more. Think. Act. Feel. Add our little consequence to the tide of good and evil that flood and drain the world. Drag our shadowed crosses into the hope of another night. Push our brave hearts into the promises of a new day. With love: the passionate search for a truth other than our own. With longing: the pure ineffable yearning to be saved. For so long as fate keeps waiting, we live on. Good help us. God forgive us. We live on....."
shantaram
shantaram
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Retrospect - 1
I guess its a good time to write. 6 o clock in the morning, I leave from Hazrat Nizamuddin Railway station New Delhi.
2 months back, I had thoughtfully decided to travel back to Pune by train instead of Air. Somehow the train journey gives me a lot of time to relax and think. I can feel the journey. This is very much unlike the air travel. Domestic flights end before you feel you are travelling and in international ones, you wish you never travelled.
Its true that I can very rarely afford train journeys because of the painfully long time they take but in this case, time is something I have at premium, I say..why not use it. And its going pretty good so far. A few minutes back I was reading Shantaram. It gave me a very beautiful line...'Every passing minute is a short story with a happy ending'. I smiled and started comparing it with my life. My own story of last 15 days unfolded before my eyes.
I won't consider myself as lucky as Mr Greg Dave Roberts to have every story a happy end but then I don't like all stories to have happy ends. Life is a mixed bag and so should be the stories. That is exactly how my story of last 15 days have been. Filled with colors. Multiple colors. And what a rainbow do I withhold. The Violet of frustration, the Indigo of smiles, the Blue of gloom, the Green of calm, the Orange of agitation, the Red of love. And then their shades and tints. They mix up in beautiful combinations and present themselves before me. What I can tell Mr Roberts is that My life of last fifteen days was a canvas. Almost every one I knew was invited to paint me as he or she wished. I was done very generously and at the end of it I stand like a caricature of myself. I have minutely observed every brushstroke and I can say I am unnerved by the density of purposes.
To be continued...
2 months back, I had thoughtfully decided to travel back to Pune by train instead of Air. Somehow the train journey gives me a lot of time to relax and think. I can feel the journey. This is very much unlike the air travel. Domestic flights end before you feel you are travelling and in international ones, you wish you never travelled.
Its true that I can very rarely afford train journeys because of the painfully long time they take but in this case, time is something I have at premium, I say..why not use it. And its going pretty good so far. A few minutes back I was reading Shantaram. It gave me a very beautiful line...'Every passing minute is a short story with a happy ending'. I smiled and started comparing it with my life. My own story of last 15 days unfolded before my eyes.
I won't consider myself as lucky as Mr Greg Dave Roberts to have every story a happy end but then I don't like all stories to have happy ends. Life is a mixed bag and so should be the stories. That is exactly how my story of last 15 days have been. Filled with colors. Multiple colors. And what a rainbow do I withhold. The Violet of frustration, the Indigo of smiles, the Blue of gloom, the Green of calm, the Orange of agitation, the Red of love. And then their shades and tints. They mix up in beautiful combinations and present themselves before me. What I can tell Mr Roberts is that My life of last fifteen days was a canvas. Almost every one I knew was invited to paint me as he or she wished. I was done very generously and at the end of it I stand like a caricature of myself. I have minutely observed every brushstroke and I can say I am unnerved by the density of purposes.
To be continued...
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