Azimushshaan Shahenshaah 'Kaaju'.....Merhabaa.

Khabardaar, Hoshiyaar...Shahenshaah-e-jannat-e-mithaai 'KAAJU-e-Ilaahi Jalwa-e-afrosh ho rahe hain......

I can apparently see all other sweets and snack items cringe and hide in their miserable, nondescript bowls. After all, the Kaaju Ka samosa has arrived. Its reveling in its stately handsomeness and gloating over its undisputed numero Uno status. It is not a mere part of the snacks table, it adorns it. It obliges it.

My acquaintance with Kaaju ki Barfi goes back to my childhood when one of the students, my father used to teach, had done really well in his exams and brought a Half Kg assorted sweets DIBBA to our home as a token of gratefulness. We being what we were at that time, tore apart the DIBBA to check out the contents. We were amazed by unbelievably thin size of a BARFI-like-sweet. We were delighted to realize that we can actually eat 5 BARFIs together. Not just the innovative size, it had a heavenly taste as well. We became instant fans.

Time passed by. Kaju ki Barfi became more frequent on sweet shops and at our home as well. Years later, I moved to Pune. The name 'Kaju ki Barfi' had changed to 'Kaju Katli'. Taste remained same.

Then came the days then the Cooking BHOOT was into my head and I was even titled 'Halwaai' by my friends. I tried cooking Kaaju Katli once. And I was successful. Believe me, It was no mean effort and no mean result. I liked what I cooked and people loved what I cooked.

Then the craze died. While in Pune, Kaju Katli became a run of the mill item for me. Over the years, fascination reduced itself to indifference. Kaaju Katli had lost its charm.

But now, while I am in Muzaffarnagar for my wedding, right from the day one, I am experiencing Kaaju's supremacy. I feel like Kaaju is really shaking me hard. It wants me to wake up from my indifference and accept its dominance. As I mentioned in my previous blog, I am observing a lot of things these days. This Kaaju is among those things.

I was at my would-be-inlaws place for some reason. Obviously a huge number of snacks, namkeens, sweets etc were brought on the table. It had been a tiring day for me and I was sipping tea in a very relaxed mood. My Bro-in-Law offered me a namkeen. I took some and kept sipping the tea. Suddenly my mother-in-law gets angry over her son. 'ARE BETA YEH KYUN, KAAJU WAALI NAMKEEN DO'. Without a second’s delay, I was offered the Kaju ki namkeen. I smilingly obliged. After a few minutes, the poor guy offered me a really good looking sweet. He was rebuked again. 'BETA KAAJU KI BARFI DO'. By the time I had realized that I am gonna have some good time with Kaaju on this trip. I gently took a piece of Kaaju ki Barfi. As I ate that bite after bite, the smile and satisfaction on the faces around me deepened. They had done their bit. They have nullified all possibilities of me going out of their house and saying that I was not treated well. It was all about Kaaju. On my way home, I was thinking if My mom would ask 'BETA KYA THA NASHTE ME WAHAAN PE'. But she was too busy to ask. But I am sure if she had asked, she would certainly have been satisfied by Kaaju ki namkeen and Kaaju ki barfi. Such is the Charisma of Kaaju.

Since that moment, I have come across countless variants of this sweet. 'Kaaju ke samose', 'Kaaju Kalash', 'Kaaju ki Jalebi', 'Kaaju Rolls', 'Kaaju Tarbooj, 'Kaaju Kesar', 'Kaaju ke laddu'.....let me tell you they all taste precisely the same. Its just the shape, price and name that is difference. But they all have different places in Status hierarchy. But in any case, one thing is damn sure. If somebody has not offered you a Kaaju item in the snacks, he is either not too well off or he is not taking your AVBHAGAT (Hospitality) seriously.

During the wedding-week in north india, a lot of sweets are exchanged between the two families. The funny thing is that at one exchange people are not ready to offer less than 5 Sweet Dibbas. A minimum of 5 kilos of sweets exchange hands at one go. Who eats that and what happens to that sweet is obviously immaterial. Any Logical 'WHY' is instantly rebuffed by a 'TUM NAHI SAMJHOGE BETA, ACHHA NAHI LAGTA'. And if any such exchange remains unaccompanied by the Great Kaaju, it is as good as incomplete and half-hearted.

Such is the power of Kaaju that it can literally categorize our guests. 'KAAJU WALE MEHMAAN' and 'SAADE MEHMAAN'. The first category has further classifications 'KAAJU SAMOSE YA KAAJU KALASH WAALE MEHMAAN' and 'KAAJU KI BARFI BHI CHALEGI' waale mehmaan. And not just the Sweet items, the salted snacks items also have their own pecking order. 'Fried kaaju', 'Roasted Kaaju', 'Masaala Kaaju', 'Kaaju waali namkeen' and the list goes on.

I firmly believe that if some real nerd exercises his grey cells, he can actually calibrate the Guest Importance. Every Guest can be defined by its 'KAAJU QUOTIENT' or 'KAAJU INDEX'

Well Come what may, I am a happy guy these days. Titled as DULHA among my side of people and DAAMADJI among my inlaws, I am enjoying the maximum possible KAAJU QUOTIENT these days. Oh dear God...!! Go easy on my stomach.

My Wedding

I am having a great time these days. 'm home for my wedding. Its a three week long vacation and after some initial mood-swings, jitters and some irritable moments, I have decided to enjoy this time to the fullest. To be frank, more than the wedding, what thrills me more is that I am gonna get numerous moments to observe people and their antics. Believe me, its as interesting as it gets. I am getting to see new and hidden facets of all those near and dear ones whom I have known since my childhood in an entirely different flavor. A flurry of emotions never disclosed thus far, a bunch of frowns I will never know the reasons for, a crop of relatives, a pest of opportunists, MANUHARs, ULAAHNAs, DIKHAVAs, NAKHRAs....its all fun. I never imagined I would enjoy my wedding but its getting

I don't know how much time will I be able to devote to share these observations, but I will surely make an effort..

Dodging the Yawns

Awake very late in the night, all by myself, sleep a light year away from eyes, I believe I have spent more than three hours on net. I Read about Federal rate cut, watched Jeff Dunham videos, checked out Orkut a dozen times, chatted with a couple of goofy guys about trifling things. Then I thought I should really call it a night.

Since then, I have been trying really hard to sleep. I switched off the lights, rested myself on the mattress and closed my eyes. Then at the fag end of a string of interesting activities like 'listening to the leaking water tap from the bathroom very patiently', 'trying to shift pillow from beneath my head to over my face to between my legs to my left and to my right side', 'opening and closing the window', 'changing from blanket to a thinner sheet, trying to decide if I am really feeling warm or is it cold'......I finally gave up. Probably, its one of those nights that are just not meant for sleeping. I sit up again. Just when I think of switching the lights back on, I have this long and mouth-ripping, muscle-straining yawn. I give it a second thought. Should I try to sleep again. But from my experience, I know its not gonna work. Its one of those deceptive yawns that only promise to give a satisfying sleep but at the end it would just bring me down to red and moistened eyes and no sleep. By then I would have wasted another half an hour of this night. So I act smart. I ignore this yawn and switch on the lights. However, that yawn is not in a mood to give up. It is suffixed by a couple more struggling, tempting and half suppressed yawns. But I know them. I am not gonna fall for them.

Well, when I think about it, I feel how stupid can it get. Dodging the yawns and writing about it. I am laughing at myself. Sometimes I think I suffer from a peculiar disorder. Can I call it Friday-Insomnia? Is it biologically possible for a human body to act like that? How does the brain control that? It hasn't always been like that though. It started exactly when I started realizing the importance of weekends. I cant recall my first few Friday night-outs but they should have started when I bought my first ever bike, because it was only then that I had some means to go out and have fun. Then I found a few more like minded friends and I never looked back. It became a crime to sleep early on a Friday night. Then it took a break for some time for some reason. Then it resumed. Then it stopped again for a while. It has appeared into my life at periodic intervals. It has always been funny.

But this seems to be the first time that I really want to sleep on a Friday night and my body clock is not allowing me. I know that body needs a certain amount of sleep everyday. If you don't give its due to it, it will try to accumulate the sleep and then one night you will sleep longer. But getting a very regular sleep every other night and not being able to sleep every Friday is strange. Well, its brain....its not a COBOL code that I have written. It may well have adapted itself to my habits, and when I am trying to act otherwise for just one night, it just doesn't wanna change. I should allow it this backlash.

What I long for at this time is a real nice hot steaming cup of Aztec coffee. Can anyone of you get me one....??

Unable to write about TZP

It has happened with me before that instead of following the natural rhythm of my heart, I try to force myself to sit and write about something I really want to write about. I sometimes find it against the spirit of writing but I cannot wait for things to start flowing and only then write about something. Usually it becomes too late by then. I have missed several moments this way. But now the problem is that when I try to force the thoughts and document them, the outcome doesn't satisfy me. Its a difficult choice. Choosing between 'waiting for the heart to beat and thus missing the moment' and 'force-document the thoughts and let them lack the spirit'.

Today I am in a similar dilemma. Its about 'Taare Zameen Par'. I watched it last Saturday and despite falling flat for it, I am yet to find the right words to write about it. In fact I have started gleefully believing that I am just incapable of putting it forward. To generate the same effects on paper, I will have to do an 'Aamir Khan' which is much much beyond me. I can still try and come up with an OKAY write up to save me the repent of missing the moment but it will never spare me off the embarrassment of underplaying something as great as this movie.

Well, I give up. I cant write about it. Go watch it. Its the 'Hall of fame' stuff, undeniably.

Hmm..

There are times when you are very calm. You feel you have successfully fit your tiny little self in this big complex world. You are happy. You are happy with your own little simplified self. You are content with your aspirations, desperations, your achievements, your failures, things you own, things you want to own, things you cannot own, your brilliance, your stupidity. You know where to go, how to go and you reach there and you are content again. Every thing seems so easy in those times. You wish this state of mind could stay with you for ever but it doesn't.

For every layer of calm that you have worn, there is sure-fire SOB who penetrates through it and touches your core to unsettle everything. Suddenly everything starts becoming skewed. You stumble against nothingness. Simplest of things start complicating themselves. You are desperate for the things you know you shouldn't, your achievements start appearing like a zilch, you meet failure at every corner of the street, you are not your brilliant self anymore, your own stupidity starts irritating you, you dont know where to go and if you know, you dont know how to. Every damn thing that belongs to you is thrown into a disarray.

Then you realize this is not the first time. You have been through this cycle of calm and disarray multiple times. why then you cant identify the symptoms at an early stage and diagnose that SOB and just distance yourself. May be its not that easy. Because this SOB is smart enough to disguise itself in a new avatar everytime and you are bound to fall for it.